Feelings

I am unsure if I have been handling this cancer thing right.  With everyone saying how positive I am and that I seem to doing well.

Then I watch a couple of interviews with sports MEN who said that when they were diagnosed with their cancer that they did not remember the journey home or sat in the car at the hospital and cried.  I did neither is there something wrong with me?

I must admit that I am just getting on with it and will probably forget about what happened when I get to the other end or at least the bad stuff and remember the laughs along the way.  I have always been a positive person, well we do have our off days, but in the main I try to see the positive side of life.
I have discussed this with friends and they say that it is just that the examples I have shown are MEN and not women who seem to be stronger and cope with pain and these sorts of things in different ways.
Any way I am staying positive and will just get on with it.

Daily schedule

I have already got stuck in a usual routine for my day.  Wake up early when my husband brings in my cup of tea.  Simple ablutions and down stairs to drink said cup of tea while watching Bill and Sian on BBC Breakfast.  This is followed up by the Wright stuff on Five.  I go through the guide to see what is on during the day and put in reminders for anything that is worth watching.  I also catch up on anything that I have recorded the night before, some of which I have to say is older but there only so many hours in the day and it all depends on the mood I am in.  I try and get a cat nap but I have not managed it yet, this I know will change as time goes on.  Some days I have had visitors or other days I have appointments to meet, then by the evening it is Escape to the Country and Antique programmes by which time husband has returned from work.
During all this I am tapping away on the laptop finally sorting out my files and photographs on to a network drive, this is going to be long job so I think I will have the time to do over the next few months.

New look

Pamper day today with a facial and new hair cut.  Decide to get a short cut and dye it so that when and if it goes during Chemo then I won't loose much.  In the end I thought I would let the inner wild child out as well.
Most people think it is an interesting choice but the overall consensus is that it was worth the time to get it done.

Being Home

I have now been home, from hospital, over a week.  It does feel longer and time is going slower.  I have slowly got a routine together for my days.  I have had some much welcomed visitors.

My big thing has been playing on my laptop and trawling the internet.  The biggest thing I have been playing with is the new Nintendo DSi XL with a copy of Scrabble.
I have caught up with a lot of the programmes that I had recorded while in hospital.

Vote Results

Thank you to those who took the time to vote.

I asked you to vote what does TLC stand for.  We all know that it stands for Tender Loving Care but it also means Touch, Look, Check, which is a campaign for Breakthrough Breast Cancer.  For more information follow the link on the left of the blog.

Time in hopsital

Having never been in hospital this was going to be an interesting experience.

Tuesday - 2nd March
Early start and arrived to find my new wardrobe was awaiting for me and even to the point of made to measure stockings.  Was thankful that I was first on the list and was taken down straight away.  Did check with the consultant he was taking the 'right' one, he reminded me that it was the correct breast and it would be the left breast.  As with all things now we had to go through all the possible problems and what was going to happen.  I was also visited by the anaesthetist. Once the bed picked me up from the ward and took me down to the theatre I do not remember anything till I was in recovery nearly 3 hours later.  The rest of the day was spent drifting in and out of sleep.  My husband even came to visit.

Wednesday - 3rd March
The only remnant of the operation was the drain that became my new friend "Fred" he followed me everywhere and to some extent kept me to my bed.  The consultant came to check on his handy work and check that I was okay.  Was in really good form on Wednesday and was entertained in the evening by my two girlfriends.

Thursday - 4th March

Oops!!!! Mom's 70th Birthday - thanks to Moonpig the card had been designed and sent before going into hopsital.
Hospital life is very regimented with wake up at around 06:00 for observations (blood pressure, temperature, heart rate etc.) and the first cup of tea of the day.  07:30 a new influx of patients have to be processed and existing patients are given breakfast.  The other regular is the sweetie round (distribution of drugs/pain killers and prescription).  The other patients in my ward were very nice.  There was a total of six beds and two of us were in for the same operation and same time scale.  The other beds were either for a day (come in at 07:30 and leave by 18:00), others for a little bit longer than expected.  The staff were very nice and helpful, there were some student nurses on the ward who not just wanted to help but were prepared to find out things not just for me but for themselves as well.
Visitors on Thursday started with the consultant to see how I was progressing and was followed in the evening by friends from work who came laden with flowers and chocolates, not forgetting tales from the workplace and the chance to laugh.  There was a cross over when my husband turned up.

Friday - 5th March
Not a good night.  Was in so much pain that I hardly slept and I am sure that the other patients in the ward were kept awake by me.  Spent most of the day feeling sorry for myself and in pain whenever I moved.  My husband visited but I was not really welcoming.

Saturday - 6th March
The duty doctor could give his say so on our release.  Did try and wash with help from a student nurse I managed to wash my hair and make myself presentable but still in pain and discomfort.  When the doctor did visit he checked me over and then ordered some tests to see what the problem was.  Chest x-ray, ECG, blood tests I felt like I had just landed on an episode of ER.  Thankfully they all came back clear.  If I was good and the drain did not fill up too much I could be released tomorrow.

Sunday - 7th March
A much quieter time in ward over the weekend, with no operations there was only those that were not released on the Friday night or Saturday.  After a quick phone call to Warrington I was given the all clear to leave.  The drain was removed - bye "Fred" and the dressing was changed.  I didn't run out of the hospital but it was a quick jog to the car park to the car for a return home and to my own bed.

Home

Left Hospital yesterday and had a really good nights sleep. Will write about it later.  Thanks to those who took the time to visit me, comment on my status on Facebook and sent me cards and messages.  It is nice to know that people care.