In sickness and in health...

Firstly, please, please, please, PLEASE, don't let my husband read this. Not that I do not want him to see what I have written it is just that it will go to his head and we all know where that will lead. I for one will not hear the end of it and I am sure he would love to trot it out at any family gathering, to anyone who will listen. Especially as it will now be in black and white for all to see.
When I was walked down the aisle by my father, over 16 years ago, and stood in front of the vicar did I really understand the enormity of what I was about to say. The oath that you say may be antiquated and have been written many centuries ago but it still holds true today, well at least for some. For richer and poorer, in sickness and health etc. may seem many miles away from the enjoyment of the day but they are very sure ideas.
Since taking my oath to love my husband, but not obey, we have had what I have always thought a partnership of understanding, even if the compromises have been something to work on.
I met my husband through a youth organisation and I really remember him through the careful introduction by a very good friend, we are still very good friends with him today. We were there for each other from the very beginning with job losses and promotions. We had the usual misunderstandings over the phone and spent a lovely summer in 'love'. It was the summer of Bryan Adams and Robin Hood - not something now I have as a flag but then it was a testament to how long we had been going out with each other. We met each others families and so on. By the Christmas we had decided to get married, date to be decided, we enjoyed being with each other enough to give it a go.
We set about raising money for house deposits and arranging the finer things like where and when we would get married. At the outset it all seemed pretty easy. We moved out of the confines of Birmingham to something a little smaller and moved to the Staffordshire town of Tamworth. The initial bedding in of living together was fraught. We would argue like cat and dog, even to the point that the neighbours complained that the noise was scaring the kids! The one true thing was that if anything was wrong or difficult we had each other.
After about four or five years of living in this semi sleepy town my husband was offered a job in near Manchester. I was at this point trying to establish myself as a contractor and was spending a lot of my time in London. The move was made and in the end my work in London had to be re-thought and I even ended up with a job in the centre of Manchester as well.
Personally I think the move was the best thing we ever did. Not only for the friends we have met, being reunited with the friend who got us together, but also we had full independence from family and friends in the Midlands that we would both run to if there something was wrong. We had to work it out for ourselves!
I know some of you are saying that you know all that, or that you would wish me to get on with it. What I have outlined is probably the usual things that go on in a marriage. The oath, the compromise, the working together and so on. No one, not in the help books or in conversation say about what the oath really means or how it works. We live in a time where people give up too easily and move on to the next relationship, the next big test. When we moved to the North West it was not even on my horizon to turn round and say I want to carry on with what I am doing in London you can go on your own. I just stuck with my husband for richer for poorer.
Now to the reason for this blog entry. The line in sickness and in health is very apt. I saw my in-laws work through their cancer battles and saw my own parents work through theirs. It must be hard for my husband to see me in such pain and discomfort. I know I am not a good patient so it must be double. Having the tables turned I really don't know how I could cope with it all.
In the past couple of months my husband has been patient beyond the requirements of anyone. Has kept his own counsel when needed and asked questions when I had none. He has made sure that I have been comfortable. He has not complained about my little extravagances or purchases. He has been a wonderful chef. He has looked after my car, even though it is not being driven. He has worked on the garden even though I have not shown the interest in what he has done as before. He is keeping the house going, even if he has complained about the increase in the phone bill and heating bill. More often than not he has shown little flashes of caring, from the gentle kiss goodnight or good morning to sitting up with me while I am trying to get comfortable to sleep. It is always the little things that mean more.
So if he does get to read this or someone does say something about this blog. I love him very much and think that he is the best friend I have ever had.