First Treatment

Today is my first Chemotherapy treatment.  I have to travel to Clatterbridge, which is over 40 minutes away.  I will admit that this is where I am now getting really nervous even scared.  I know this is usual and expected but I don't normally suffer like this.
The best thing has been all the text messages I have had from friends wishing be luck.  To them who have found this page a big thank you.
Update
Back from the hospital and doing well.  It was not as bad as I was expecting.  Now waiting to see how I react to the treatment.

Friends

This has been an interesting time as you can tell. It would have been a lot more awful without friends and I want to thank all those who have taking the time to write cards and send them, take time out of your day and busy schedules to visit me, even to the expense of bringing flowers, chocolates and other goodies.

The past couple of weeks I have been building up my trips out.  I have now finally got back behind the wheel of a car and went to the Trafford Centre shopping, you will be pleased to note that I was joined by another driver just in case it was too much or I could not cope with it, I have now bought a hat and will require a few more as I don't want to get bored of it or that it appears in too many photos over the summer.

I have also been to two National Trust properties.

• Quarry Bank & Styal Estate
  Here we followed various school groups round and played around ourselves with the hands on exhibits.  Very enjoyable as all National Trust properties are.  We also visited the newly opened gardens.  They were handed over to the trust in 2006 and opened in 2008, there is still work to be done but it was a wonderful spot by the water.  It will look lovely as the various flowers bloom, at the moment they are limited to the Snowdrops (those that are left), a myriad of Daffodils but not enough for Wordsworth me thinks and the odd Crocus.  There was a view of things to come with a lonely Tulip on show.

• Dunham Massey
  Our first stop at Dunham Massey was the restaurant for a light lunch.  We also went on one of the guided tours around the house.  When we mustered at the meeting point I bumped into an ex-work colleague from the paper, which was a shock.  We chatted and swapped a little gossip, as you do.  The tour was really good and informative of the family and the development of the estate.  On our way out we then saw the local inhabitants feeding.

Feelings

I am unsure if I have been handling this cancer thing right.  With everyone saying how positive I am and that I seem to doing well.

Then I watch a couple of interviews with sports MEN who said that when they were diagnosed with their cancer that they did not remember the journey home or sat in the car at the hospital and cried.  I did neither is there something wrong with me?

I must admit that I am just getting on with it and will probably forget about what happened when I get to the other end or at least the bad stuff and remember the laughs along the way.  I have always been a positive person, well we do have our off days, but in the main I try to see the positive side of life.
I have discussed this with friends and they say that it is just that the examples I have shown are MEN and not women who seem to be stronger and cope with pain and these sorts of things in different ways.
Any way I am staying positive and will just get on with it.